


It’s Never One Thing

by carex



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carex/pseuds/carex
Summary: Everyone has their limits; even the genius Rodney McKay. Short term crises are his forte - surviving the never ending, day after day demands of being the foremost expert in Ancient technology is another matter entirely *complete*





	1. It starts out small

**Author's Note:**

> Author Notes: I own nothing recognizable. I do not have any background that would give me expertise for these stories beyond my love of SGA and my Googling skills. Constructive feedback, suggestions and edits are always welcome as fictional writing as a whole is a new avenue for me. 
> 
> Setting: No specific timeline and not really set within any specific episodes but includes Keller and Woolsey and they are still in Pegasus so somewhere early Season 5ish.

Contrary to popular belief, Rodney really did know his limits. 

Physically, he’s quite aware he’s not going to be the first one picked for any sports teams in the near future, but honestly, that’s why all they brought all these military people - to do the actual heavy lifting. When needed he can hold his own and that’s really all that matters at the end of the day. The level of physicality varies depending on the risk/reward scenario. For example, punch that guy out or he stabs you - Rodney can handle that. Pick up the pace on the long, boring walk to the gate and you can beat out the crowds on meatloaf and cupcake nights - seems like a worthwhile expenditure of energy.

Intellectually, he’s unrivalled by anyone on/from Earth. Samantha Carter gets close to being his equal in her brighter moments, but otherwise, he’s in a league of his own. Rodney’s not so blinded by arrogance that he doesn’t recognize other races may have a better understanding of some principles - but they’ve had a several-thousand-year head-start in the evolutionary race. Just give him enough time and he’d surpass them and all their fancy technology too.

Rodney’s also quite proud of his ability to overcome exhaustion to keep working and keep everyone alive. It’s not his fault his limit of mental exhaustion was way past most people - that’s hard-earned endurance from a lifetime of having to be the best and brightest. Taking university classes while in high school after skipping several grades doesn’t leave a lot of time for lounging on the couch or lazy weekend mornings. You learn to roll with what’s needed to always meet and exceed the next expectation and find a new normal that allows you to function as needed with as little rest as possible.

This talent - no scratch that - this skill has benefited everyone on the expedition more times than they even know. How many times has he saved their asses by working for days with little or no sleep? He tries to keep the occasions to a minimum but when the Wraith attack, replicators decide it’s time to wipe them out, or even when the desalination tanks all started draining at once - it’s him they look to do the work, lead the teams, and ensure they all make it through another day. 

Off-world he’s pushed beyond normal limits to ensure he and his team make it back in (sometimes more or less) one piece. You can’t ask a suddenly violent group of villagers you inadvertently ticked off for something as silly as merely looking at their ‘sacred’ statue to see if glowing crown was powered by a zed-pm, to just relax for a few hours while you have a hot meal and get some sleep before resuming their all-out assault on you and your team. All while you try to fix the DHD one crazy-haired Colonel ‘accidentally’ damaged in the crossfire. Granted it was to keep Telya from being hit so, you know, but really is it too much to ask that they keep the shooting away from the 10,000-year-old technology?

But there’s a cost to these long days. Following most of these times, Rodney would grab a quick meal and collapse on his bed for 12 hours straight before getting up and moving on to the next inevitable crisis. While he never feels completely recovered from the more harrowing times, after a few less adrenaline filled days that allow for luxuries like lunch and maybe even a coffee break with snack if it’s a really good day, he usually recovers enough. Pegasus has required Rodney to continually push his limits a few more notches up to a new normal required to address the challenges faced by the mission.

While these short-term crises can be taxing, the real killer is the long-term constant demand that comes with being the most brilliant physicist in this galaxy. You can’t exactly take the weekend to visit the cottage (or more accurately tell all those annoying undergrads you went to the cottage and really hideout on the couch watching Dr. Who for three straight days without speaking to another human). 

Aside from the ‘days off’ you might get trapped in a hospital bed, there’s never really any true downtime in Atlantis. Someone can always find you to fix the problem they’ve created with their idioticness after being left unattended for more than 2 minutes. There’s also always a long list of repairs, questions, and general things-to-do just waiting for him to have a few spare minutes. Let alone any time to actually do something he enjoys like working on a research paper to ensure he gets his credit when this mission is declassified or checking the ancient database for answers to life's important questions like what really happens to matter in black holes. Hawking has his theory of course, but Rodney just knows there’s more to it - if only he could prove it.

With these constant demands and little time for rest, Rodney could feel himself continuing to exceed his limit for long-term sustained productivity. In short, he was burning out.

This is not a new state for him. Rodney recognized the ever-growing list of symptoms including waking up in the middle of the night for no discernible reason aside from his ever-busy mind determining a few hours of sleep was all he could afford as there’s a long list of tasks scrolling through his brain to attend to. Even though he was exhausted, sleep would elude him after this point so might as well get up, grab some coffee (or whatever they are pretending is coffee these days) and move on to the next task on the list. 

Rodney also realized that the near-constant headache that continued even after he would take some of his precious supply of OTC painkillers he smuggled back after his last trip to Earth wasn’t a great sign of peak health. He knew the infirmary had stronger stuff that would actually put an end to the constant thumping pain, but that would require a conversation with a particular blonde doctor and Rodney was just not ready to open that line of questioning. Jennifer would most likely try to run every scan and test she could think of to find the root cause as “Headaches are often a symptom of other underlying issues, Rodney”. There was no way Jennifer would just give him the damn pills so he could move on with his day.

He was also finding more and more instances where he realized his jaw was sore. It took a few occurrences to recognize this wasn’t from some off-world injury or accumulated damage from all the less than textbook jumper ‘landings’ he’s endured, but from grinding his teeth in perpetual frustration at the level of ineptitude he found himself constantly surrounded by. 

Speaking of which, he was also self-aware enough to see that his notoriously limited patience was even more limited than usual. Annoyances he would have formerly huffed at and moved on were driving him fucking crazy. Like if Yen taps that pen one more time Rodney’s pretty sure he’ll break Yen’s arm and feel totally justified. Even Rodney knows that’s probably a bit extreme; hence, the jaw clenching.

Rodney was also having episodes of vertigo at seemly random times to keep his days extra interesting. No one seemed to have noticed as he always caught himself or remained stationary until the symptoms abated, but it was close a few times. The worst was during the mandatory team training Sheppard made him attend yesterday afternoon. Ronan was showing him some secret handshake thing that could be used to loosen rope bindings (why a guy with two PhDs needed this skill was a real testament to how not normal his life was). It took a second for Rodney to realize it was him and not some failure of the City’s stabilizers but luckily he was close enough to a wall to pass off steading himself as slumping against the wall in a typical cross-armed slouch the others would expect from him during forced physical activity. 

While all of this was annoying, he could endure the physical symptoms. But the lapses in concentration that started just a day or two ago (or was it three or four now...fuck) were starting to interfere with his ability to work. The episodes were minor and his superior intellect allowed him to recover before anyone else noticed but Rodney noticed. Like this morning’s staff meeting where he drifted through Woolsey’s round-table on supplies required for the next Daedalus run but he caught her look and just stated that he’d have a list to her later instead - apologies for the delay and all. And when Zelenka pointed out the error in his math, he simply passed it off as a test to ensure Zelenka was paying attention.

But these concentration slips were getting worse and Rodney would find himself lost on tangents for indeterminate amounts of time. For example, on Tuesday, or was it Wednesday, maybe it was last week? What day is today - oh fuck it all, why do we insist on using the Earth-based 7 day week when we don’t have work days and weekends. There’s nothing magical about a 7 day week. The moon cycle on this planet is not conducive to being divided by 7 (not that the one on Earth really is either...) and there aren’t 7 ‘heavenly bodies’ or whatever other random cues that lead Earth to use a 7 day week. I guess it’s a reminder of home for the sappier expedition members. What we really need is something like a star date system - but one actually based on actual changes in the relative position of something in Pegasus. This would be both efficient and more relevant to life here in Atlantis. I wonder how the Ancients measured and divided planetary rotational cycles - I bet they had a better system but I’m sure they managed to somehow fuck that up too - just like the desalination tanks that all enter cleaning cycles at the same time leaving you with NO WATER - fucking morons! It took weeks to reprogram them to stage the cycles so the tanks rotated through and you didn’t have gaps in something as important as drinking water supplies. He must be something missing, like another set of tanks somewhere else or a redundant system they haven’t found yet as what idiots would program all their drinking water to be unavailable at the same time - that’s just, well idiotic. God, he must be tired - can’t even come up with half decent insults. What started this line of thinking anyway? Oh right - concentration lapses. Of course, irony, or something...he is so screwed. “Get a hold of yourself man!” - was his inner dialogue just in Cadman’s voice...wow he really might just be losing it. 

“Whatcha doing?”

Startled, Rodney, was diverted from his introspection by one John Sheppard looming over his shoulder. All he could spare was an annoyed glare and huff before turning back to the equations that should allow them to recharge a zed-pm - if only the solution would appear. Rodney tried to appear to be totally focused on working in a valiant effort to get Sheppard to leave him the hell alone, but John just pointed to the screen asking:

“Shouldn’t that be the other way?” 

Rodney huffed and started to prepare an epic rant about flyboys interrupting actual scientists when he glanced where John was pointing and - shut the front door - he was right. The formula was transposed. 

Rodney wanted to break down in tears right there, but that wouldn’t help his growing feeling of failure - so he defaulted to his always present anger. Standing up so abruptly he nearly hit his head on John’s chin Rodney grit his teeth as gravity betrayed him as he raised his finger to point accusingly at John to start a rant of epic proportions. But just as he opened his mouth, John announced “It’s time for dinner!” and grabbed his outreached hand and started dragging Rodney out of the lab. It took a bit for Rodney’s brain to catch up with what just happened and he snatched back is hand and went to turn back to the lab when another wave of vertigo hit. John simply reached out and grabbed his shoulder stating “This is why you need to eat.” before forcefully guiding him the rest of the way to the mess. 

By the time they reached the mess, Rodney, realized he really was hungry. Being the genius he is, he also realized it made the most sense for him to grab a quick dinner before returning to work. A hypoglycemic episode wasn’t going to help his concentration. Rodney and John both loaded their trays with the always interesting mix of foods (all certified citrus free of course) and found a table near the windows. 

Rodney quickly started in on his tray, thinking he must have been way hungrier than he thought. But it hadn’t been that long since he ate…what...lunch...maybe? Was it pseudo mac and cheese today, or was that yesterday.

“Hungry there Rodney?” John quipped glancing up at Rodney from his own dinner. 

“Huh? What? Oh, ya I guess. Busy day keeping the City functional with all these morons running around touching things they know nothing about. Do you know that one your guys nearly blew up the southwest pier because he thought the naquadah generator could just be unplugged and moved a bit so it was easier to see from his post? He kept interrupting me all afternoon I went down there and explained that he was welcome to move the generator if his goal was to kill us all.”

“So I heard.” John chose not to elaborate as it was clear Rodney was more focused on his food, but Captain Koshkinen had spoken to John that afternoon. The Captain was actually trying to see if the generator could be moved so it would be in a more concealed position instead of being visible from halfway down the pier making it a very open and hard to defend target. John actually thought it was very forward-thinking and connected Koshkinen with Zelenka to have arrange to have generator moved. 

They finished their meal in companionable silence and after dropping off their trays, Rodney started back towards the labs to get back to his work thinking he was going to need a large dose of caffeine. He was trying to remember exactly what he was working on when his purposeful stride was distributed by John pulling him backwards by his left bicep.

Glancing down at John’s hand, Rodney followed the arm up all the way to roast John with one of his most scathing glares “What are you doing? Let go of me.”

“You are not going back to the labs. You” John punctuated with a finger in the centre of Rodney’s chest “are going to bed.”

Wrenching his arm free, Rodney exclaimed “I don’t need you to put me to bed. I’m not your subordinate that you can just order around. If you want to go to bed, then go, but leave me to my work keeping this City afloat.” And with that Rodney turned back towards the labs. 

Unfortunately, gravity betrayed him once again and he stumbled slightly reaching out to catch himself on the nearby wall.

“And that is why you are going to bed.” John grabbed his arm again and practically dragged Rodney towards his room. Rodney reluctantly opened the doors and stomped into his room towards the bed without a backwards glance.

“Night Rodney. See you in the infirmary at 0800”. John watches the door close and turns to continue walking down the corridor to his own room.

Rodney’s mostly closed-door suddenly slides fully open “Wh..what..why am I going to the infirmary? I’m fine. Totally fine.” Rodney sputtered.

Rubbing the back of his neck, John gives his friend a concerned look responding “Ah...it’s for the standard pre-mission check? Before we go on our mission tomorrow. You do remember we have a mission scheduled, right?”

“No, no, no, no, no, no. I clearly remember that we decided the mission was on Sunday...because…..ah…ah….” famous Rodney double-hand pop finger snap “because Teyla told us...something...harvest cycle….moon dance….some other ridiculous god-worshiping ceremony was going on and we couldn’t talk with anyone until after that...hence the mission is on Sunday.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday, Rodney” John stated flatly watching the triumphant grin fall from Rodney’s face.

“Are you sure? Like really sure? Because I have way too much to do before the mission for it be tomorrow. Maybe all that hair has made it hard to keep track of the days. Also, why do we even use the Earth calendar” 

“Rodney”

“when we could have a much more efficient system that’s actually relevant to the Pegasus” 

“Rodney”

“instead of holding onto something simply because it's too difficult for some people to”

“RODNEY!”

“WHAT!”

Sighing, John physically rallied all the patients he could this late hour to calmly state “Rodney, it’s definitely Saturday today making tomorrow definitely Sunday and you will be in the infirmary at 0800 if I have to drag you down there myself. The Umbato have agreed to allow us access to the Ancient outpost after months of negotiation, so you need to be your charming self all ready to go at 0800.” 

Before Rodney could respond, John grabbed his shoulders turning him around and pushing him back into his room closing with “Go to bed Rodney. I need you ready to explore the Ancient outpost tomorrow so that we can try to see what goodies the Ancients left behind; hopefully without blowing anything up.”

“Fine.” And with that Rodney walked further into his room heading towards the bed with the doors sliding closed behind him. Maybe he could get some sleep and tomorrow he might actually be able to honestly consider himself fine.


	2. Then others start to notice

Rodney wasn’t fooling anyone. 

John’s late-night dinner with Rodney was not a serendipitous event. It was more akin to a mission with the dual objectives of getting Rodney to eat a decent meal and then go to bed at a half decent time. 

John hadn’t actually seen much of Rodney in the last week. He’d spent the past few days working with the newer personnel to ensure they actually understood the dangers here in Pegasus. There had been a few rough off-world missions lately that required some additional attention to ensure the recent injuries suffered due to inattention and overconfidence didn’t become deaths. John had also been working with Woolsey and Teyla on the negations with the Umbato as they were willing to trade access to the Ancient outpost for some defensive strategies and tools (Woolsey was careful to ensure this did not include weapons) to help protect their carefully constructed hiding places from the Wraith.

John thought it was a bit unusual that Rodney hadn’t been in the mess hall for dinner recently, but with the desalination tank issue and a few other repairs, Rodney had ranted about at the morning senior staff meeting a few days ago John figured Rodney was just busy. After the Umbato mission was complete, he’d make a point of ensuring he visited Rodney more often, even it was just to drag him for dinner.

Initially, it was Zelenka that came to him with concerns about Rodney’s nearly non-existing patients and erratic angry outbursts. John just shrugged it off as just Rodney being Rodney and assured Zelenka he’d keep an eye out. Then Ronon had mentioned (in as few words as possible) that Rodney’s concentration and balance were off during team training session, and John became increasingly concerned. John was actually talking to Keller before the senior staff meeting to see if she had any ideas about what might be the cause. They’d had a few rough missions lately, and John wanted to ensure there wasn’t a lingering injury he should be concerned about. 

While pondering his next move, John witnessed Rodney’s zone-out during the meeting. They were talking about restocking supplies which is like Christmas for Rodney who always tried to cram as much stuff into his allotted space and whatever space he could cajole other department heads to give up. The fact that he didn’t have his characteristic list of needs prepared and it took Woolsey calling his name three times to even get a response, definitely raised some more flags. After Rodney practically ran from the meeting, Woolsey had held John back to ask if Rodney was alright and John didn’t have an answer. Keller confirmed Rodney didn’t have any lingering physical injuries but Rodney didn’t really seem to be okay.

John had planned to talk to Rodney during the 2-hour walk to the Umbato village in the morning, but then Zelenka stopped by to mentioned that Rodney was making errors, and John realized he couldn’t put this off any longer. 

Although it was late, John knew Rodney would still be in his lab. John walked in the open door to see Rodney sitting at his computer. Something made John stop to observe for a few seconds. All at once he noticed that Rodney wasn’t moving...at all. Rodney is one of those people that is always in motion. Even sitting at his computer there was always a knee bouncing up and down or a pen wiggling between his fingers when he wasn’t rapidly typing away. But Rodney was completely still staring at the screen without even blinking. Filing this away as yet more unusual behaviour, John approached Rodney’s station. He was coming up to Rodney from the side, but it was clear his presence hadn’t been registered by the room’s only other occupant.

John looked over Rodney’s shoulder at the energy use equations he seemed to be working on. As he worked his way down the equations, John also became increasingly concerned. There were several errors that John could easily pick out and that was so un-Rodney like it was a little scary. Knowing that sympathy gets you nowhere with Rodney, John went for light:

“Whatcha doing?” 

John had clearly startled Rodney who took a few breaths to bring his focus back to the present. His friend’s exhaustion was clear in that Rodney had no comeback at all. No quip about sneaking up on people or rants about how the equations are so beyond John’s understanding it’s not even worth starting an explanation. 

Knowing that anger was one of the best ways to get Rodney moving, John casually pointed to one of the most egregious errors and asked: “Shouldn’t that be the other way?”

John watched Rodney’s internal struggle play out on his face as he shifted from annoyance to frustration, to embarrassment and shame and finally settling on anger before Rodney jumped up from his chair, nearly colliding with John. While John was prepared for a rant, he was not prepared for Rodney to stumble and nearly hit the deck. Rodney managed to catch himself on the edge of the desk and seemed oblivious to the look of concern on John’s face. 

Adding this on his growing catalogue of Rodney-related concerns, John decided to stick to his plan of getting Rodney to eat and then to bed as the Umbato mission tomorrow was delicate enough and everyone needed to be at their best. John could see the rant building as Rodney raised his hand to point at John, so he announced “It’s time for dinner!” and started pulling Rodney towards the mess.

John got surprisingly fair before Rodney seemed to notice he was being pretty much dragged through the halls by his outstretched hand, but when Rodney went to pull away, he stumbled, so John quietly sighed, grabbed Rodney’s shoulder and proclaimed “This is why you need to eat”, before continuing their walk to the mess.

John has happy to see that Rodney’s appetite seemed to still be present as they both filled their trays and found a table to eat. Rodney barely acknowledged John’s presence as he tucked into his dinner. After a bit, John couldn’t help himself and asked: “Hungry there Rodney?” This got the desired result as John was treated to a Rodney-rant about the naquadah generator drama. Even if the details didn’t quite align with the official report from others, at least Rodney was engaged in the conversation hand gestures and all.

Finishing up their meals, John knew Rodney would try to head back to the labs, so John was prepared to redirect him towards the living quarters instead. There were the expected resistance and a slightly disconcerting discussion about what day it was, but John was able to get Rodney moving in the direction of bed and short of standing in the room all night, that was the best he could do. Hopefully, Rodney would see some logic in his suggestion and get a good night's sleep. 

As he made his way to his own quarters, John made a mental note to talk to Keller before the pre-mission physicals tomorrow to ensure Rodney's was extra-thorough as he definitely was not fine.


	3. But it doesn’t stop there

“Woolsey to McKay, Rodney, please respond. The long-range sensors are down and we need them up and running right away as we were tracking an unknown ship headed this way.”

“Lorne to McKay, respond. The gate shield is flickering we need it fixed a-sap as we’ve had some unknown dial-ins over the last hour and we do not want any uninvited guests.”

“Rodney, it’s Radek, please respond. The desalination tanks are on the verge of draining again and we have not been able to stop them. We are about to lose access to any drinkable water for the foreseeable future.”

“Dr. McKay, it is Dr. Kusanagi. Can you please respond? The botany department is reporting that the heat in the main greenhouse seems to be failing and if we do not repair the issue quickly, the entire harvest will be lost.”

“Sheppard to McKay. Respond Rodney. We are having reports of power fluctuations all over the central tower and generators 1 and 3 are starting to run hot.”

“Rodney, it’s Jennifer. The scanner is down again and we need it running right away as Lieutenant De Marco’s surgery can’t be delayed.”

Rodney wanted to respond but his hands were being held down by some unseen force and he couldn’t reach his radio to respond to the urgent requests that continued to come in from all over the City. He could hear his pulse racing in his ears as he rapidly moved towards a full-on panic attack as the urgent requests kept coming in as he struggled.

Finally, Rodney gasped awake and found himself tangled in his sweat-soaked sheets. It took a few moments for his heart to slow down and his senses to focus enough for him to release himself from the sheets. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, he leaned over to take his head in his shaking hands while he tried to calm down. 

It was still dark, and his watch helpfully informed him it was 0317. Rodney knew from experience he would not get any more sleep tonight. Each time he’d get close to dropping off after waking from this particular type of dream/nightmare, the calls start up again reminding him of all the urgent work he needed to get done and the lives at stake. Taking one last deep breath to try and get his heart-rate into a more normal range, Rodney stood up and headed for the bathroom. Showering and dressing quickly, he packed his gear for the Umbato mission and headed to the lab to work for a few hours.

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

John’s alarm wakes him at 0600. Rolling out of bed, he completes a few push-ups and dons his running gear. Predictability, Ronan meets him at the end of the corridor and they complete an easy pre-mission day run in silence. Returning to his quarters shortly after 0700, John goes through his morning routine, heading for the mess for a quick breakfast before walking to the infirmary for a chat with Keller before the rest of the team arrives for their pre-mission physicals.

“Morning Colonel. You’re a bit early for the pre-mission physicals. Is there something I can help you with? ” Dr. Keller asks with her typical nervous brightness. 

“Morning. Actually, I wanted to talk with you about Rodney. I know you said he wasn’t injured, but he’s been kinda...off.” John trailed off rubbing the back of his neck, obviously nervous.

Motioning them into her office, Jennifer takes a seat and offers the other to John “I see. What have you noticed?”

“Well, maybe it’s nothing, but he seems to be...I don’t know...distracted? Quiet? He also seems to be having some sort of dizzy-spells. I was sure he was going to fai...pass out last night when I pulled him out of the lab for dinner.”

“Humm. Okay. He hasn’t said anything to me, but he’s going to be in shortly anyway, I’ll do full work up and see if there’s something going on.”

“Thanks, Dr. Keller.” John sends a small smile her way.

“While you’re here, why don’t we get started on your pre-mission check?”

Teyla and Ronan arrived just as John was finishing up his exam. It was shortly after 0800 and Rodney was nowhere in sight.

Activating his radio, “Sheppard to McKay.” Nothing. 

“Sheppard to McKay.” Again, nothing.

“Maybe he overslept? He has been looking tired lately?” Teyla asks with calm concern.

“Ya, maybe that’s it. I’ll run over there and get him down here. You guys go through your exams and we’ll get this mission rolling.” John states before heading towards the door.

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

Arriving at Rodney’s quarters, John actives the chime and waits. Getting no response, he tries again with the same result. Becoming increasingly concerned, John starts to use his security override to open the door, only to find it’s not even locked in the first place. Entering Rodney’s quarters, John listens to see if the shower is on, but nothing. The bed is obviously slept in, with the sheets a tangled mess in the middle of the bed. It’s clear Rodney was here, but he’s not right now. 

John tries the radio again as he leaves Rodney’s quarters heading towards the labs. “Sheppard to McKay. Rodney where are you?”

Getting no response, John walks the short distance to the main lab. He finds Zelenka in the main lab space working away with one of the other scientists, but no sign of Rodney. 

“Morning Radek. Have you seen Rodney today?” 

“Colonel. Good morning to you as well. I have not seen Rodney today, but I have just arrived. Is something the matter?”

“No, no. He was supposed to report to the infirmary for a pre-mission physical this morning. Just looking to find him so I can drag him away from the undoubtedly important research he’s probably caught up in.” John tries for light, but from the small look of concern Radek gives him, he might have fallen short.

“Maybe he is in his lab? Do you want me to come with you to find him?” Radek offers.

“No that’s okay. He’s probably just wrapped up in work. I’ll check his lab. Thanks, Radek.”

John continues his search down the hall in what Rodney has designated as ‘his lab’. The door is closed but opens readily as he approaches. Maybe even Atlantis is sensing his increasing concern.

John finds Rodney in much the same state as last night. Staring blanking at this computer screen with no discernable movement at all. Not wanting to startle him, John calls out from the door “Hey McKay. Wrap it up here. You’re already late and we have to get going.”

The complete lack of reaction is disconcerting, to say the least. John tries again as he walks closer “McKay..come on, let’s go.”

“What? Oh, it’s you. What do you want?” Rodney asks with only a hint of his usual bite.

“Remember the pre-mission physicals? Scheduled for 0800? It’s now”, glancing at his watch, “nearly 0820 and you’re here, not there.”

“Sorry Colonel, not everyone has the luxury of maintaining such a well-planned schedule. Some of us have to deal with all sorts of requests that are sometimes inconveniently timed. I was just finishing reprogramming the lights in the greenhouse to ensure our food supply doesn’t die. I figured that was a priority over maintaining the somewhat arbitrary schedule for the mission today.” Rodney ground out.

From his vantage point, John could see Rodney’s laptop screen was dark; having timed out from prolonged lack of use. But being that this was not his first dealing with a stubborn Rodney, John refused to take the bait and argue with Rodney about the lack of work currently occurring and he also neglected to mention the missed radio calls. Instead, he simply reached for Rodney’s field bag (happy to see that it was at least packed and ready) and turned to towards the door stating “Come on McKay get a move on. We have to go pass the pre-mission physicals so we can get this show on the road.”

John had his back to Rodney as he walked towards the door, but he heard the chair slide across the floor then a noticeable delay before McKay’s heavy footsteps started following him. Once in the corridor, John adjusted his stride to walk beside Rodney as they made their way to the infirmary, John still carrying McKay’s field bag.

The walk was eerily silent as McKay practically trudged to the infirmary like he as being taken on some awful (as if there was any other kind) death-march. When they reached the infirmary, Dr. Keller greeted them and immediately directed Rodney towards a curtained-off bed. Sheppard and Keller exchanged looks about the complete lack of protest or comment before Jennifer turned to follow Rodney into the curtained off area.

“Morning Rodney. How are things today?”

“What? Oh, fine. Everything’s fine. Can we get this over with? Much to do and all that.”

“Okay.” Dr. Keller sighed and began the exam. She noted Rodney’s blood pressure and heart rate were a bit high, even for him. His temperature was a bit elevated, but none of this was enough to be overly concerning. Keeping in mind the earlier conversation with Colonel Sheppard and noting her patient's uncharacteristic quiet demeanour, Jennifer asked, “So what are you working on these days Rodney?” fully expecting a long rant about all the important work he’s invariably involved with.

What she didn’t expect was the complete lack of reaction to her question. Rodney was sitting staring at obviously nothing. “Rodney?” Still nothing. Giving his shoulder a general shake, she tried a third time “Rodney? Are you okay?”

She could feel him tense and saw him bring his focus back to her with what seemed like a great deal more effort than typically needed. “What? Ah…” he paused to clear his throat, “Of course I’m okay. Are we done here?” he stated desperately trying cover how startled he was.

“When was the last time you ate anything?” she asked working through the growing list of symptoms and most likely causes.

“I’m not sure why it matters, but I had dinner with the Colonel last night.”

“And what about this morning?” She asked thinking it was already closing in on 0900 and judging by the bruising under his eyes he’d been up for while already.

Rodney thought back through this morning. The details were a bit fuzzy, but he recalled some unpleasantly cold ‘coffee’ and seeing a PowerBar wrapper near his computer, so there was likely that too. “I’ll have you know I had some coffee and a PowerBar in between keeping us all fed by fixing an issue with the greenhouses,” he announced a bit smugly at actually having a breakfast of sorts to report. 

“I see.” Jennifer had talked to Rodney several times about having a more nutritious breakfast, and she knew that starting that particular discussion would not go well this morning. Instead, she decided a blood draw and run under the scanner were in order to figure out what was going on as this really did seem like more than low blood sugar from Rodney’s less than ideal breakfast. “Okay Rodney, just lay back for a few minutes. Dr. Maina will be in shortly to draw some blood, then we’ll get you under the scanner before-”

“What? Wait a minute.” He stated, hands flying, “What’s with all the extra tests? I told you I am FINE and I need to get going working on all the IMPORTANT tasks I do around here. I DO NOT have time to indulge your pseudo-science curiosity by running extra tests for NO REASON!” By the time he was done, Rodney was nearly panting for breath. Dr. Keller had instinctively backed up a few steps and nearly collided with John coming into the curtained off area.

“How’s it going in here?” John had been idly chatting with Ronon and Teyla waiting for Rodney’s exam to be done so they could get moving when he heard the shouting.

“Colonel. Please tell Dr. Keller here that we need to get going. I do not have time for all these extra tests she seems intent on inflicting on me.” Rodney was trying to sound calm and reasonable, but it came out closer to pleading.

“Rodney, just let Dr. Keller finish her tests and then we can go. Okay?” John was trying to be reasonable. He should have predicted reasonable was not going to get the compliance he was looking for.

“Like that’s going to happen. You literally drag me out of my lab away from my work that is VITAL to our collective survival stating that we are running late for the mission. Then you turn around and are going to allow Dr. McTimewaster over here delay us further? Since we seem to have SO MUCH extra time on our hands, I’m going back to my lab.” With that Rodney started to shift to the edge of the bed to presumably stalk out of the room. 

As soon as he pushed off the bed, Rodney’s eyes rolled back and his knees buckled. He seemed destined to end up on the floor. Luckily, John had already been moving to keep Rodney on the bed and was able to catch him before he fell. John and Dr. Keller worked together to maneuver Rodney back on the bed just as their friend’s eyes opened.

“What happened?” Rodney asked a bit muzzily.

“You fainted.” John stated flatly. He really was trying not to take pleasure in his friend's state but he couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that.

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes. You did.”

“No.”

“Ah, yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Y-”

“Hey. Both of you stop it!” Dr. Keller said as she moved between the two squabbling men. 

“Rodney, there is clearly something going on with you. Given your propensity for running to the infirmary for nearly every scratch, the fact that you are trying to deny there is even an issue is concerning, to say the least.”

“But-” Rodney interjected, only to be cut off as Dr. Keller continued.

“No Rodney. You’ve left me no choice. I will not clear you to go on any missions, back to the labs, or even to your own quarters until I’m satisfied you are not going to pass out again.” Dr. Keller’s uncharacteristic sternness left no room for argument. 

Not that that ever stopped Rodney McKay “I’m fine. You are just wasting time and resources. Both of which are in short supply these days”. Rodney started to sit up looking like he was going to once again try to leave the bed.

John placed a hand on Rodney’s chest to keep him lying back on the bed, stating, “Rodney, don’t tell me you’re fine. You fainted, passed out, whatever and this isn’t even the first time I’ve seen you almost end up face-first on the floor in the last 24 hours. You are going to let Dr. Keller complete all her tests before you step foot out of the infirmary. If I have to zip-tie you to the bed to keep you here until Dr. Keller is done, I will. Is that clear?” John used his command tone to convey the seriousness of the situation, but even to his own ears he could hear the concern laced within.

It seemed like Rodney was going to have a rebuttal (of course), but after opening and closing his mouth a few times, he simply flung his arm over his eyes and solemnly nodded. 

“Okay Rodney. You just stay here and we’ll get the tests done as quickly as we can.” Jennifer said as she patted Rodney’s shin. 

Dr. Keller and Colonel Sheppard exchanged concerned glances as they moved out of the curtained off bed into the main infirmary. 

“Colonel, I don’t know what’s wrong, but obviously, something is. I’ll keep him here and complete some additional tests to see what I can find. I think you’ll need to either reschedule the mission or see if Dr. Zelenka can accompany you as I won’t be able to clear Rodney until I know what’s going on and it will take a few hours at least to get the results back.” 

“Ya, okay. I’ll go tell the team and Woolsey. Rescheduling might be challenging, but I’ll get Teyla to work her magic with the Umbato and explain the situation. Let me know when you get the results. I’ll be back as soon as I can to check on him.” Following Dr. Keller’s acknowledging nod, John turned to walked towards Ronon and Teyla. 

Jennifer continued in the opposite direction deeper into the infirmary to find Dr. Maina to get the bloodwork started while she went to prep the scanner. Whatever was wrong, she was determined to get to the bottom of it and have some answers by the time the Colonel returned.


	4. Even that’s not the end

Rodney had been drifting somewhere between awake and asleep when he was brought back to full consciousness by a sudden, violent shaking. His initial thought was “Great, my nightmares have taken on a tactile slant now too. I’m sure that will be a barrel of fun.” He opened his eyes to the surprising darkness followed by the dim glow of the emergency lighting turning on and he realized that maybe this wasn’t a nightmare after all.

Rodney was just reaching for his radio to figure out what was going on when it came alive with calls. Switching to the channel reserved for the Science Department Heads, he was barraged by the chaos of multiple crossing questions all trying to figure out what happened. Rodney tapped the mic, and announced “Everyone SHUT UP! Radek, what’s going on?”

The silence was immediate and followed quickly by “Rodney? I thought you were off-world today?” Rodney could hear activity in the background and realized Zelenka was probably trying to coordinate the Science Department response team as he thought Rodney was on the mission.

“The mission was, ah, delayed. What happened?”

“There appears to have been an explosion in the chemistry labs on the northeast pier. I believe Dr. Miller’s team was-” 

“I don’t need the whole novel, Radek. I’ll meet you and the response team on Level 2 to the northeast pier in 5 minutes and we’ll go from there.” Rodney was already moving off the bed and lacing up his boots. He grabbed his field pack as he had a feeling the tools and equipment he normally carried for off-world missions may come in handy a bit closer to home today. 

Knowing the full details of the emergency response protocol for lab-related explosions (mostly because he wrote it), Rodney knew the next step was coordinating rescue (if needed), damage assessment, and repair teams. This required coordinating the military, medical, and science personnel because allowing the military to respond alone when the labs were involved was only inviting further disaster. As such, Rodney switched to the Senior Staff channel as made his way towards the infirmary doors, “McKay to Sheppard.”

“Rodney, I’m a bit busy right now.”

“Whereas I’m enjoying the local spa.” He snapped out, “Meet me at the Level 2 entrance to the northeast pier. I don't want anyone, including you, to enter the damaged area until we know what happened. The last thing we need is secondary damage because someone touches the wrong thing.” And with that, he signed off walking purposefully walking towards the northeast pier. Ronan, who had been waiting silently by the infirmary doors, followed McKay out, silently falling into step beside him.

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

John had been making his way through the command centre to Woolsey’s office with Teyla when the explosion happened. 

John quickly swept his eyes over the control room. The copious windows have kept the area well lit even without the main lights allowing him to see that everyone was okay and that Ancient consoles remained active, so at least they weren’t totally vulnerable and defenceless.

Glancing back at Teyla to confirm she was also okay, John reached for his radio to start coordinating emergency response efforts. 

“Sheppard to Lorne. Report.”

“Lorne here, sir. Appears there was an explosion on the northeast pier in one of the chemistry labs. Generator 3 was damaged causing the switch to backup power throughout the central tower. The lifesign detectors are not functional in that area, and camera feeds are down. There were no cameras in the lab to show what transpired but we are reviewing footage from the surrounding areas.” Lorne’s quick reply confirmed John’s hope that he was in the main security office giving him the best view of the affected area and systems.

“Start coordinating rescue and repair teams and completing the check-in protocol so we can determine who is unaccounted for. I’ll head to the northeast pier and coordinate efforts on site.”

“Copy. I’ll coordinate teams and initiate check-ins from here then meet you on site once we know who is accounted for, sir.”

Knowing Lorne had the team coordination and check-in under control, John started making his way back out of the control room to head to the northeast pier when Woolsey fell into step beside him.

“Colonel. I heard there was an explosion in the labs. What do we know?”

“Major Lorne indicated there appears to have been an explosion in the labs out on the northeast pier. The explosion disabled Generator 3 causing the power failure. Check-in protocols have been initiated. That’s all we know right now, so I’m heading to the northeast pier and will coordinate efforts on site.”

“Okay. Keep me informed. I’ll stay here to monitoring the situation to ensure we don’t lose any critical systems before repairs can be completed. Once you have a better idea of the damage and any injuries, report back. Teyla, could you please stay to assist with discussions with the Umbato? Hopefully, we can work out a delayed meeting day.”

“Yes sir.” And with that John continued towards the northeast pier while Woolsey and Teyla returned to the main control room asking Chuck to dial the Umbato gate.

“McKay to Sheppard.” Of course, Rodney wouldn’t sit this one out. John had known Rodney long enough to know there was no point telling him to stay in the infirmary. While John was very much aware Rodney was not fine, arguing would not help Rodney or the current situation. And either way, John was certain Ronon was with him.

“Rodney, I’m a bit busy right now.” 

“Whereas I’m enjoying the local spa.” well clearly Rodney’s mood had not improved. “Meet me at the Level 2 entrance to the northeast pier. I don't want anyone, including you, to enter the damaged area until we know what happened. The last thing we need is secondary damage because someone touches the wrong thing.” 

John wanted to tell Rodney he had this under control and his impromptu meeting was wasting time that could be used to reach anyone that was injured, but John had learned to trust that Rodney really does care deeply for everyone in Atlantis and would only call this on-site meeting if it was actually important enough to justify delaying helping the injured.

Activating his radio John relayed the message to meet at Level 2 to the emergency response teams. 

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

John arrives on Level 2 of the northeast pier just behind Dr. Zelenka. Rodney is a bit further ahead with Ronon off to the side. 

“Did Dr. Keller say what she found out about Rodney?” John quietly asks Ronon.

“No. The explosion happened and he just left.”

“Thanks for sticking with him. We’ll get him back to the infirmary after this is sorted out.”

Ronon silently nodded in response. John didn’t have to ask Ronon to stick with Rodney, and he’s grateful others are looking out for the scientist.

Making his way through the waiting military, medical, and science teams towards Rodney, John gives Rodney a quick once over noting he doesn’t look any better than earlier. Before he can ask, Rodney claps his hands together three times shouting “Okay everyone, we are short on time so shut up and listen.”

“Okay so here’s what we know. Approximately” glancing quickly at his watch, “8 minutes ago, there was an explosion in the chemistry labs down the hall behind me. The cause is unknown and we have not been able to reach any of Dr. Miller’s team that we think is in the lab. The explosion damaged the power conduit to Generator 3, leaving much of the central tower and this pier running on emergency back-ups. Now, here’s the really important part. The lab was located out on this pier as they were working on analyzing what we think are Ancient chemical devices. The lab was equipped with adequate safety measures, but the status of those measures is unknown. We do know the emergency bulkhead doors have closed between us and the lab. We will need to confirm the area is clear and structurally sound before we open the doors to reach the actual lab. Before entering the lab we will need to wear hazmat suits and set up the decon room. The Ancient devices are dark grey ovoids approximately 12 cm by 10 cm. The patterning is blue when they are dormant, and turns red when activated. The chemical is released in powder form 285 seconds after that. If you see one, do not touch it or move it, especially if you have the ATA gene.” Rodney pauses his instructions looking pointedly at John.

“So if there are no questions, I’ll lead the damage assessment team in clearing the area so we can work on getting the emergency doors open.” 

John recalled the meeting a few weeks ago regarding these devices. The database had actually been helpful (for once) and as Rodney had explained they were time-delayed devices that carried a chemical powder that would eat through organic materials. The idea was to drop a few on a Wraith ship, then get out (or not…) and let the powder basically eat a hole in the organic ships as well as taking out any Wraith that happened to be too close before the powder settled out of the air. Of course the database did not explain what the powder was...because...reasons. That would just be too simple for the Ancients who seemed to thrive on making everything as complex and mysterious as possible John thought with more than a bit of contempt.

The chatter started up as teams coordinated themselves and the damage assessment team led by Rodney (who was trailed by Ronon) started moving down the corridor checking for hazards and structural damage. Knowing that clearing the way to the emergency doors was not going to be quick and all the well-trained teams were ready to go, John took the opportunity to update Woolsey on the situation and to check in with Lorne to confirm the number of unaccounted for personnel.

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

Rodney was sitting on the floor, completely focused on his PADD when his attention was diverted by a PowerBar being waved in his face. Moving his eyes up from the PowerBar, he found Colonel Sheppard staring back simply saying “Eat”.

Not being one to turn down food, Rodney grabbed the bar and ate it in three large bites. While Sheppard continued to talk “I’ve confirmed with Lorne that only the four people on Dr. Miller’s team are missing. Still no contact or sensor readings from that section. So when can we start getting these doors open?”

“Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was checking over the latest readings to ensure the whole pier won’t come down on us if we open the emergency doors. I already have Zelenka working on testing the air between the emergency doors and the lab.” With that, Rodney stood up and reached out to steady himself on the wall.

Lowering his voice, John moved closer, asking “Rodney, are you sure you should be here? Why don’t you go back to the infirmary to let Keller finish her tests? I’m sure Zelenka can handle getting the doors open.”

“I’m fi..” Rodney started, but stopped cold at the look of concern, “Look, now that we know the pier isn’t in danger of falling apart, opening the doors shouldn’t take much longer.” Rodney turned and started towards where Zelenka was working on the emergency doors stating, “Why don’t you go tell the rescue team to count the hazmat suits or something useful.“ without looking back.

Rodney stalked towards Zelenka without a backwards glance. He had to escape that look of concern on John’s face. Was he actually concerned about Rodney’s wellbeing? No, don’t be an idiot, Rodney chastised himself. The Colonel is just concerned about how fast we can reach the potentially injured expedition members to fulfill his ever-present need to always needs to save everyone.

“Radek. Structure is sound. Can we open the doors without us all dying a horrible death?”

“Ah Rodney.” Radek turned. He gave Rodney a quick once over and sighed as a look of something akin to concern flashed across his features before continued with his report, “Yes. We are just finishing checking the data from the testing port. The results so far show no trace of the chemical between the emergency doors and the lab doors, which are also closed.” 

Activating his radio, Rodney informed “Sheppard. We are almost ready to open the emergency doors. It can be done remotely, so get everyone back to the staging area and we will open the doors from there.”

“Understood. I’ll update Woolsey and once your team is back at the staging area and we can see what’s behind door number one.”

Rolling his eyes, Rodney looked up to see Zelenka conversing with one of the chemists...Chan, Chen..something. Looking up from the PADD they were sharing, “Dr. Wei has confirmed there is no trace of the chemical detected between the two doors.” Zelenka informed McKay as he and Dr. Wei walked towards Rodney.

The three scientists walked back towards the staging area in silence. Zelenka kept glancing towards the unusually silent Rodney who was trudging along the 250 m walk along the level corridor looking more like he was on 15 km hike through rough terrain. 

When they reached the rest of the team at the staging area, all eyes went to Rodney expecting him to report the results and issue the commands to open the emergency doors (he really does like to be the one to push the buttons), but he just stood there staring at the ground.

“Rodney?” John asked stepping a bit closer to his friend.

“Oh. Ah. What?” Shaking his head slightly, Rodney continued, “Right. Well enough standing around. What are you all waiting for, Radek, open the doors so we can get this over with.” 

Looking towards McKay, then at the Colonel who just shrugged slightly, Zelenka turned his attention back to the PADD and entered in a short series of commands. The sounds of the doors opening could be heard breaking the tense silence that had fallen over the gathered group.

A hazmat clad scientist started her journey towards the now visible lab doors to ensure there were no devices or damage that may not have been detected between the two doors. As the scientist continued her walk, John turned to Rodney and Zelenka asking “How concerned should be about the chemical breaching the lab doors and entering the rest of Atlantis when we open the lab doors?”

They both looked towards Rodney, who seemed lost staring at the scientist walking down the corridor. 

“Oh, ah, the risk is low Colonel. The powder is heavy and sticky so it quickly settles out of the air. Physical contact would be needed right after the device activates to be exposed. Dr. Olsen is just confirming our initial readings from the test port we installed in the emergency doors before we have the team start working on the lab doors.” Zelenka answered for Rodney.

With another glance towards the still transfixed Rodney, Zelenka moved closer whispering “Colonel, I am concerned about Rodney.”

“Ya me too. Once this is over, I’ll make sure he’s back in the infirmary and stays there until we figure out what’s wrong with him.”

“Olsen to rescue team. The area is confirmed clear.” Olsen’s radio call seemed to revive Rodney from his thoughts.

“Thank you.” Deactivating his radio, Rodney turned to the rest of the group, “Don’t just stand there. Start working on getting the lab doors.” Turning back down the corridor, Rodney started to lead the team back down the corridor.

Throughout the preparations to open the lab doors, John continued to watch Rodney. He seemed to be perpetually leaning against a wall and would sometimes freeze with a fuzzy gaze that seemed to suggest the world was moving too fast for him to keep up - a very disconcerting condition for someone John knew was always thinking so many steps ahead of everyone else. His nearly silent nature also spoke volumes and John kept glancing at his watch hoping this could be over soon so he could get Rodney back to the infirmary.


	5. But no one is an island

The lab doors showed evidence of damage; however, readings confirmed the seal was intact and there was no trace of the chemical powder or any of the devices. With the all-clear, the teams started working getting the doors open.

Preparing to open the lab doors was a painfully slow process. The teams worked as fast as they could, knowing their colleagues are trapped and maybe injured (or worse….nope not going there) behind the doors, but everyone on the expedition knew through hard-earned experience that rushing in to a situation like this unprepared will only put more of them on the injured (or worse) list.

After updating Woolsey, John was left with nothing to do but pace the width of the corridor while the science teams worked. Three steps forward, pivot (usually to the right but sometimes to the left to change things up - John’s an ambiturner after all), three steps back, pivot and repeat. 

Rodney was standing next to Drs. Zelenka and Wei by the testing port in the lab door but John could tell that he wasn't really engaged as those usually animated hands were held limply at his sides. John didn’t realize he’d stopped his pacing until Ronon came up beside him commenting, “McKay will be okay. We’ll make sure of it.” John simply nodded and continued his pacing.

The next time John glanced over at the scientists, it seemed like they were finishing up so he made his way towards them asking “So what are we dealing with?”

“So we have some, ah, some good news, I guess.” Radek started while pushing his glasses back into place. “There is no trace detected of the chemical in the laboratory. Power is out to the room and we do not know if the emergency lighting has activated.”

“Do we know the extent of any injuries?”

“Unfortunately, no Colonel. The testing interface is very limited. It does not allow for communication or a visual assessment of the lab,” Dr. Wei supplied.

“Okay. We will go in following hazmat protocols as planned, just in case.” 

Zelenka nodded and he and Dr. Wei walked over towards the science teams to start preparations. Noticing that Rodney hadn’t said anything during the entire exchange, John turned to Rodney and ducked down a bit to ensure he caught his friends’ blue eyes. “Rodney, we’ve got this under control. Zelenka is going to open the doors once the entry team is in their hazmat suits and the decon room is ready. Why don’t you go back to the staging area until we see the conditions in the lab?” John knew Rodney wouldn't leave, but he was hoping he could at least get Rodney to sit down in the staging area while the lab was opened.

“Those people are in my department working on a project I assigned them. I need to personally check the lab and devices to ensure they are not damaged or accidentally activated by overeager rescue teams.” With that, Rodney turned and made his way towards the hazmat suits. 

John and Ronon exchanged silent glances as Ronon followed behind their cantankerous scientist. Ronon, who had been Rodney’s constant shadow, reached out a steadying hand to keep Rodney from falling as he stepped into his hazmat suit. Rodney barely acknowledged the physical contact with a small huff as he continued to struggle into the heavy suit.

Shaking his head, John started towards his team members to collect his own hazmat suit and to arrange for the portable decontamination room to be assembled. He was hoping that whatever they found in the lab was quick to deal with for the sake of those trapped and Rodney.

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

“Decon room is ready to go and the entry team are suited up, sir.” Corporal Tremblay reported after what seemed to John like hours but was probably about 20 minutes.

“Okay. Good work Corporal. I’ll coordinate with the Science team to have the doors opened once everyone is in position.” John responded feeling a bit more useful with something to do.

“Okay everyone,” John begin getting the attention of everyone gathered around, “we have the decon room set up and the entry team is suited up. Everyone else, move yourself and any unneeded equipment back to the staging area. Dr. Zelenka, please prepare the open the doors remotely once everyone is in position.”

The flurry of activity to clear equipment and people into their respective locations was done quickly and John couldn’t help but be proud watching the soldiers and scientists working so effectively together; so unlike the early days of the expedition.

John worked on getting his own hazmat suit done up and watched Rodney do the same. John had considered making him stay, restraining him if he had to, but frankly, he understood Rodney’s need to be here for his fellow scientists. Rodney really does have a big heart, if you can get past the razor wire and laser-guided missiles of anger and arrogance he hides it behind.

John activates his radio “Entry team in position. Dr. Z., you are clear to open the doors.”

“Acknowledged Colonel. Opening the doors….now.”

In a somewhat, melodramatic fashion, the doors slid open to reveal the lab bathed in weak, sputtering emergency lighting.

John entered the lab first and quickly locates Dr. Miller and her team huddled in the far corner. Three of them start to rise as the entry team approaches looking a bit haggard, but generally uninjured. The relief of rescue is evident in their eyes underscored by the glances towards the now open lab doors.

“Colonel, are we ever glad to see you. Morgan needs to get to the infirmary right away.” Dr. Miller indicates the fourth team member of her team lying motionless on the floor. “He was right next to the panel when it exploded and he fell back. He hasn’t woken up since then.”

John motions for the medical team to enter from the open doors to attend to the injured scientist.

Calling out from a shelf in the middle of lab continuing the devices, Rodney asks the million dollar question “What happened, Dr. Miller?”

“It was one of the power conduits behind the wall. Must have weakened at some point and failed rather spectacularly. Morgan was thrown back and hit his head on one of the benches.”

“Humm” was the only response as Rodney continued to check the devices. 

Leave it to the scientists to be fascinated by an explosion that could have killed them, John thought before continuing “Is anyone else injured?”

“Marcia has a cut on her arm from some debris. The rest of us were farther away when the conduit failed.” Dr. Miller replied somewhat distractedly while looking over towards Rodney. “Dr. McKay, we checked the devices after the explosion. They all remain inactive.” she stated while continuing to move closer to Rodney.

“Yes, yes. I’m sure you did. Always good to double-check the devices that could literally melt us all are not going to do that.” Rodney replied without even looking at Dr. Miller who was looking more and more frustrated with each step as she moved closer to Rodney.

Seeing the beginnings of a fight, John decided to intercede. “Rodney, if the devices are inactive, can we ditch the hazmat suits? It will make it easier for the medical team.”

“What? Oh sure. Ya. The devices are inactive, so no need for hazmat suits or decon procedures.” Rodney finishes while removing his own helmet and gloves and setting them down on a nearby table before turning back to the devices.

With a glance at Rodney, John removes his own helmet and gloves and gently guides Dr. Miller back to her team and the medical team.

“How’s it looking Dr. Greene?”

“Dr. Kelly is stable and does not appear to have any spinal injuries, but we’re going to be very cautious until we can get him under the scanner. The medics are just getting the stretcher so we can safely transport him to the infirmary.”

“Good to hear Doc.” John replies. 

Seeing that everything seemed to be under control, John starts walking back to Rodney to see if he can also get him out of this lab and back to the infirmary now that there seems to be no imminent danger. 

As John approaches the shelf with the devices, John noticed Rodney had become quite still and was just staring at the devices on the shelf in front of him. 

Before John can say anything, Marcia let out a yelp in surprise as the medic accidentally brushes the cut on her arm while removing her jacket to get a better look at the injury. The sound cuts through the fog in Rodney’s brain and sends an immediate spike of adrenaline through his system as he prepares to fight whatever danger is attacking them this time. 

As Rodney rapidly turns towards the sound, the room loops around him and his vision greys and narrows. He finds himself falling and blindly reaching out for anything to stop his descent.  
His arm catches the corner of one of the lab tables, turning his body slightly before he loses his grip. But when he contacts the lab bench, something cushions the blow and Rodney can hear a soft crunch before slowly slipping to the floor.

John watched the whole thing in what seemed like slow motion. The yelp from the scientist reflexively caused him to turn, but the sound of the shelf rattling returned his attention to Rodney. John watched as Rodney spun and faltered. All John could do was try to reach out before Rodney’s head connected with the unforgiving surface of the lab bench. Unfortunately, his arm was trapped between Rodney and the lab bench, and John barely held back a curse from the spike of pain radiating up from his forearm as he guided Rodney to the ground. 

“Rodney!” John leans down towards his dazed friend. He barely registered one of the devices teetering and falling to the ground from where Rodney had been checking it for damage.

“John?” Rodney looks at him with a glazed look. “Why am I on the floor? Why are you holding your arm like that?” 

John finds himself pulled back by Ronon to allow the medics in. “Sheppard, is that supposed to be red?”

John followed Ronon’s gaze towards the small devices weebling on the floor under the lab bench a few feet from Rodney. 

“Not good. Okay. I need everyone out NOW.” John calls out to the room.

“Colonel. We are not able to move Morgan yet. We can’t risk moving him without the stretcher.” Dr. Greene shouts from his position on the other side of the lab bench.

Grrr...of course…”Okay, everyone who can leave, leave now.” John shouts while looking around trying to find another option. Time is rapidly ticking down and his options are limited. As he scans the room, his shoulder connects with Ronon’s broad chest, causing a renewed spike of pain to travel up and down his arm and he bites down on another curse.

“I can fix it.” Rodney states as he starts to crawl towards the device.

“What, no. Rodney, we need to get you and everyone else out of here.” 

“I can fix it. Get everyone else out of here - including you.” Rodney replies with a quick look up at John.

Before John can stop him, Rodney reaches under the lab bench and grabs the device.

Rodney had no idea what do. He didn’t know if the device would simply turn off in response to his ATA gene (artificially expressed and all) or if there was a more sequence to deactivate it or frankly if it could even be deactivated at all (stupid suicidal Ancients). As he grabbed the device, it continued to flash red. Rodney estimated he had about 140 seconds left. This left no time to relocate the device or move Dr. Kelly out of harm's way. 

‘Okay you can do this’ he thought to himself, ignoring the way his hands shook and trying desperately to not get distracted by flashbacks of being trapped in the back of the jumper stuck in the gate that his brain was helpfully providing. Rodney rolled the device between his hands looking at all sides for any clue to how to deactivate the device as he forcefully thought through all the synonyms of off, deactivate, stop, etc. he could think of. 

Aside from the glowing markings there, were two small spaces with no patterning that roughly fit the span of his pinky and thumb as he grasped the device. Pushing into both panels, he frantically yelled: “off you god-damn stupid piece of Ancient tech!” And just when he was trying to think how long he had left before a very painful death, the device beeped once and returned to its former dull blue colour. The Ancients were way too obsessed with dramatic timing.

Carefully setting the device on a lab bench and ensuring it stayed blue, Rodney took a moment to lean against the bench leg, closing his eyes and trying to slow his breathing. 

A collective sigh of relief passed through the teams as Dr. Greene called for the stretcher so they can continue treating Dr. Kelly.

John kneels down in front of Rodney, quietly asking “Rodney, are you alright?”

Rodney slowly opens his eyes and sees the way John is protectively holding his right arm against his body, Rodney softly replies “You should get that looked at.” With that, Rodney gets to his feet and checks the other devices, all without actually making eye contact with John or anyone else.

“Rodn…” John starts before Ronon looks him over and interrupts “That doesn’t look good Sheppard. Go. I’ll stay with McKay.”


	6. Even if they think they should be

“Okay Colonel, let’s take a look at that arm.” Dr. Keller started looking through the scanner results while John restlessly waits on the bed. He’d been in the infirmary for about an hour, as the other members of the team were assessed. He could have asked to be seen by some other doctor, but they all seemed busy and his arm was not a big deal, so John had waited.

John had learned that Dr. Kelly had woken up, and from all the scans, it seems he would be okay. The cut to Dr. Sousa’s arm was stitched and she’d been released a few minutes ago. All in all, the injuries and damage were minimal - especially compared to what it could have happened. 

“So it seems you have a small fracture along your radius. It’s not misaligned, but you will need a cast for a few weeks to ensure it heals well.” Dr. Keller continued as she turned back towards John.

“Really, Doc? You can’t just wrap it or something else?” John was all but pleading. He really hated casts. They are so itchy and showering is hard, and well...he can’t easily hide a cast from anyone (aka Rodney who will only blame himself for John’s injury).

“Yes really Colonel. A cast is needed. I’ll get the materials and we’ll get you set up and out of here.”

As Dr. Keller walked away to get the supplies, John activated his radio. “Sheppard to McKay.” No response...okay…”Sheppard to Ronon”. 

“Southwest pier storage.” was the rumbling response. Ronon does know how to get his point across succinctly. 

“Okay. I’ll be there soon. Sheppard out.”

Dr. Keller returned with a somewhat sheepish look. “What’s going on Doc?”

“I checked the stores and we only have pink fibreglass left. We should have more options in a few weeks with the resupply run and we can redo it then, but you’ll be stuck with pink for a bit.” She replied with a bit of a wince.

“No problem Doc. I was actually going to request pink.” John replied with a trademark smirk, trying to lighten the mood. While he’d always prefer black, blue, red, orange, or even green or yellow, he can work with pink if that’s his only option. And he really just wanted to get out of here to go find Rodney.

Jennifer started her work wrapping his arm. “So what did happen here, Colonel?” 

Sighing, John figured she needed to know “Rodney was startled and lost his balance. I tried to control his fall and got my arm stuck between his head and the lab bench edge. My arm lost that battle I guess.”

Jennifer looked up from her work casting John’s arm “Lost his balance. That’s not good at all. I didn’t get a chance to do any tests on him this morning before everything happened. I am glad he didn’t hit his head though, given it was enough force to break your arm...” she trailed off not wanting to think what could have happened.

John could see the guilt at letting Rodney leave. “You couldn’t have stopped him. Once we’re done here I’ll go get him and bring him back. Ronon’s been with him.”

“He’s lucky to have such good friends, Colonel.” Dr. Keller replied with a shy smile before returning to her task.

“Okay. All done. You know the drill Colonel. Keep it dry and if it starts to hurt, please return and we can ensure there are no concerns. We can do another scan in 2 weeks and see if we can remove the cast and move to something less restrictive.”

“Thanks Doc.” John slides off the bed and grabs his jacket. After a brief internal debate, he throws the jacket over his shoulder determining he’ll never get it on over the cast. “I’ll be back soon with Rodney.”

John heads out towards the southwest pier storage with a purposeful stride. On his way to the transporters, he decides a quick stop at the mess would be good. Rodney always responds better when John starts with offering food. He also doubts Rodney has eaten much since the PowerBar before the lab doors were opened.

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

After deactivating the Ancient chemical device, Rodney had slowly walked out of the damaged lab. He left his hazmat suit at the staging area and just kept walking. He could vaguely feel Ronon’s presence but didn’t have the energy to acknowledge another human, let alone make conversation. Not that Ronon was much for conversation. I wonder why that is. Has he always been like that or did he become like that after all those years running? That must have been so lonely. While Rodney would never be able to actually tell him, he was in awe of Ronon’s ability to survive. Rodney would have made it like 10 minutes out on his own being hunted by the Wraith. It’s a wonder John lets him stay on his team really.

Rodney kept walking until he reached the storage room on the southwest pier. This was where they kept all the smaller unknown Ancient devices they found. Rodney often found himself here when he just needed to pause the craziness for a few moments by quietly examining an Ancient device to discover its secrets. The basic single-focus nature of this work helped calm him following the more stressful days (like today).

This was where he found the shield in the early days of the expedition. He kept the depleted device here in hopes of finding another or a recharge station. Maybe then he could recapture those brief carefree moments he had with Sheppard testing out the device. He didn’t realize at the time that would be the start of the best friendship he’d ever come close to having. But staring the device now, all he could think of was the sickening crunch when Sheppard stopped him from hitting the lab bench when he fell. It was clear John was hurt, but Rodney couldn’t bring himself to check on him like everything was fine and it wasn’t Rodney’s direct fault John was in the infirmary.

Rodney wasn’t sure how long he sat there before being startled out of his thoughts by a sandwich being dropped in front of him. He backtracked the sandwich’s trajectory to see John pulling up a stool beside Rodney. 

Rodney did not miss the bright pink cast on John’s right arm, nor the way John winced as he gently set the cast down on the table surface. 

“Pink?” Was all Rodney’s muddled mind could come up with as he stared back at the sandwich in front of him.

“That was all they had. Eat the sandwich, Rodney.” John replied like everything was normal and Rodney hadn’t broken John’s arm.

John ate his own sandwich as Rodney started nibbling on his. “After this, I need you to come back to the infirmary with me so Dr. Keller can finish her tests.”

“I could have killed Dr. Kelly today. I actually broke your arm. I triggered the device. I didn’t know what to do.” Rodney replied as he dropped the sandwich, stood up and started pacing around the small room. 

“Rodney, Dr. Miller’s team are all going to be fine. You also deactivated the device. I’m not sure anyone else would have figured it out that quickly.” John was desperately trying to not get angry. He was tired too, and his arm hurt, but he knew that if this devolved into a shouting match, he’d need Ronon to stun Rodney to get him to the infirmary.

“John, you have to understand. I can’t do this anymore. I’m a danger to you and everyone. I can’t think straight. Without that, there’s no point in me even being here. I just can’t...I can’t...I….”

Rodney was taking rapid, shallow breaths. John knew the signs of a panic attack when he saw it. Getting slowly to his feet to not startle Rodney, John moved towards his friend reaching out with his left hand to Rodney’s shoulder to help ground him. 

“Rodney, look at me. Come on look at me.” Blue eyes finally met hazel and John continued with “I need you to focus on breathing. Follow me okay...in...out...in...out. That’s right McKay.”

As his breathing slowed, John was able to guide Rodney back to the stools by the lab bench. “Just keep breathing Rodney. Here sit down and just take a moment, okay buddy?”

A weak nod was all the response John received as Rodney placed his head on the table, but at least Rodney’s breathing was getting closer to something resembling normal.

Watching Rodney closely, John sat as well and quietly ate his sandwich (you can’t blame him - he’d also had nothing eat since breakfast). John didn’t know what had brought this all on, but he suspected it wasn’t a specific incident and it wasn’t about today, either. Rodney took so much on himself as a member of his off-world team as well as leading the Science Department. Over the years, Rodney had learned to trust Zelenka with some tasks, but being Rodney, he still liked to be involved in everything and took each setback and loss to heart.

“Is your arm going to be okay?” came the quiet question from Rodney. He still had his head down on the lab bench.

“Oh, ya. It’s nothing. A few weeks in this flashy cast and I’ll be all good.”

“Good. That’s good. I’m sorry I broke your arm.”

“I’d happily take a broken arm compared to what might have happened if your head connected with that bench, Rodney. And I mean that.”

After a bit of silence, John started in on the real question. “What going on Rodney? I’ve seen you have these glazed moments and combined with the dizzy spells...what’s really going on here?”

More silence followed and John began to wonder if Rodney was going to answer him.

“Can’t sleep.”

“Any specific reason?”

“Too much to do. Always something to fix or find or research to ensure our continued survival.”

At first John thought Rodney was being his arrogant self, but taking in his friends defeated posture and thinking back on the past few weeks, John realized this was how Rodney genuinely perceived his role. John then had a thought - how many times is Rodney contacted at night….he might be on to something here.

“I can see how that would make sleeping challenging.”

After a few beats of silence, John made his move “Rodney, let’s go to the infirmary so Dr. Keller can ensure that there’s not something else going on and then we’ll figure out a way to let you get some sleep.”

Rodney rapidly raised his head and stared at John wide-eyed, “You think there’s something actually wrong with me??” The question was asked with so much fear, John was momentarily taken aback. He hadn’t meant to activate Rodney’s hypochondria. 

“No. No, I don’t. Really. But...ah...earlier Dr. Keller was feeling guilty she wasn’t able to help you before you had to leave.” Good move John thought to himself...use Rodney’s soft spot for Jennifer to get him to cooperate.

“Oh. Okay. She can be like that.” Rodney commented as he started to stand. John reached out to steady him and started guiding him out of the lab towards the transporters.

As they passed Ronon in the hall, John gave him a quick nod of thanks. Ronon just fell into step behind them - always the protector.


	7. We really are all in this together

The walk to the infirmary was slow and quiet. Upon entering, Dr. Keller silently directed them towards a bed in the back corner away from the busier areas of the infirmary.

Once John had Rodney settled on the bed, he left Ronon with Rodney to have a quiet word with Dr. Keller.

“Hi Doc. Finally got him here.”

“Did you get anything on what might be wrong?” Jennifer asked with concern. John could see her working through the list of tests she was going to need.

“He said he can’t sleep. I have a suspicion he gets a lot more late-night calls then we may realize. Once he’s settled, I’m going to go speak to Woolsey, Chuck, and Zelenka to see if we can figure something out.”

“Okay. That’s actually good. His symptoms can be explained by prolonged lack of sufficient sleep and exhaustion. That’s much easier for us to address then some unknown Pegasus disease I was worried he’d picked up. I’ll still run some tests to be sure, of course.” Dr. Keller looked hopeful at being able to help her patient.

“Right, of course.” John replied suppressing the shudder that was creeping up his spine at the thought of another Pegasus disease. “I’ll go see if he’s okay and then go talk to Woolsey and Chuck.”

Rodney was laying on his side facing towards the wall as they approached. Ronon was off to the side polishing one of his many knives.

“How are you, Rodney?” Dr. Keller asked as she approached around the other side of the bed to see Rodney.

“Tired.” Dr. Keller glanced up at Sheppard at the very short reply.

“Okay. I’d like to run you under the scanner, then I’m going to take some blood but we’ll let you sleep after that, okay?”

A small nod was the only response. 

“Rodney, I’m going to let the Doc do her tests. I’ll be back in a bit so don’t go anywhere.” John tried for light but even to his own ears didn’t get passed concerned.

Another small nod.

“Okay.” And with that John headed out hearing Jennifer talk Rodney through getting him ready for the scanner.

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

It was getting late, and the overnight-shift was taking over. Chuck was just walking into the control room with his coffee thermos when John intercepted him and led him into a quiet corner.

“Colonel. How are things today, sir.” Chuck asked with curiosity.

“ Sorry to ambush you like this. I need your help and I’d rather keep this on the down-low, okay?”

“Understood. What can I help you with?”

“You oversee the night radio traffic, right?”

“Ah. Yes. I don’t listen in or record anything if that’s what you’re asking.” Chuck quickly explained.

“Oh. No. That’s not what I mean. I just wanted to know if you had an idea how often McKay is contacted about various issues?” John tried to make it seem like a simple request. At Chuck’s hesitation, John hastily added: “No one is in trouble, just trying to see if there are some...ah...work efficiencies...we can implement.”

That seemed to alleviate Chuck’s concerns, much to John’s relief. “Oh. Okay. I think that’s actually a great ideal Colonel. I’ve been thinking that Dr. McKay is contacted a lot at night. Then I see him already working when I finish up my shift and usually still working when I start again. Umm...I would say he gets calls during my shift 4 or 5 times a week. Sometimes more than one call each night; depending on what’s going on. I actually have some ideas about an auto logging system but he’s always too busy to discuss it.”

John was trying to absorb this information without looking too shocked. Combined with his time off-world, that would mean McKay seldom even gets the chance to get a full night’s sleep. No wonder he’s exhausted. “Thanks, Chuck. That really helps.”

“No problem Colonel. It really is too much for any one person, eh? Let me know if there’s any way I can help.”

Chuck continued to his station as John walked towards Woolsey’s office. He’d been keeping him more-or-less updated throughout the day, but wanted to talk with him in person before moving resources around.

Woolsey was just packing up his computer when John tapped on the door. “Oh Colonel, come in. How’s your arm?” 

“Oh,” John glanced at his bright pink cast. “it’s okay. Should be fine in a few weeks. Do you have a few minutes? I need to talk to you about McKay.”

“Please take a seat.”

“Rodney is in the infirmary.” At Woolsey’s alarmed look, John continued, “He wasn’t injured, but something’s not right. Dr. Keller is running some tests, but it seems like he may be completely exhausted from too long without sufficient rest.” 

John wasn’t sure what he expected from Woolsey, but it wasn’t guilty understanding “I was hoping it wasn’t this bad. I have been watching how much he works, and I had hoped he would get a break before it reached the point that medical treatment was needed.” At John’s surprised look, Woolsey continued, “I’ve been working in high-pressure jobs my whole career, Colonel. Seeing someone burnout is hard to watch. I’m sure Dr. Keller will be able to help Rodney. I assume you came here to discuss how to stop us from ending up here again?”

“Ah...yes..actually. I realize Rodney takes a lot on, but I think we can help by reducing how often he’s contacted for minor repairs, especially at night. I spoke to Chuck and he sees Rodney contacted 4 or 5 nights a week. With us off-world roughly once a week and Rodney's tendency to pull all-nighters working on projects, that leaves very few nights Rodney even has a chance at a full night’s sleep.”

“Agreed Colonel. So what’s your suggestion?”

“I was going to speak to Dr. Zelenka to see if he can help set up a rotation of sorts for the calls so that they don’t always go to Rodney right away. It might also help others in the Science Department to learn to solve some problems on their own.”

“I think that’s a great ideal, Colonel. Please work with Dr. Zelenka on a plan and let me know how I can help ensure it’s used - even if I have to manually turn off Dr. McKay’s radio some nights. But I’m hoping it won’t come to that.” Woolsey finished with a small smile.

Woolsey stood, and John followed. They shook hands and John departed to find Zelenka.

Zelenka was in the main labs when John found him. “Dr. Zelenka. Do you have a minute?”

“Oh Colonel, of course. How is your arm?”

“Oh fine. I wanted to talk to you about Rodney and all the requests he seems to handle.”

“Oh yes. Rodney and I have spoken of this previously. He insisted the calls continue to go to him first to avoid wasting time and so he can see patterns of system degradations. Did he ask you to speak to me about it again?” Radek asks looking around to see if he somehow missed Rodney entering with John.

“Ah..” now John looks around to see that the lab is empty aside from the two of them and lowers his voice, “Rodney’s in the infirmary. Dr. Keller is confirming, but we think he’s completely exhausted. After talking with Chuck, it seems Rodney gets calls most nights. Combined with the nights he stays up working on some project and the time we are off-world, that leaves him no time to actually rest. As much as Rodney doesn’t want to admit it, he’s human too.”

“I agree Colonel. While Rodney will not easily agree, others can solve many of requests. We all need Rodney at his best for those times we really need him. I can not think of what might have happened with the device today had Rodney not figured out how to turn it off so quickly.”

“Thanks, Radek. I think finding those to help will be the easy part. Getting Rodney to release some control and trust others will be a much more challenging prospect.”

“Leave it with me, Colonel. Chuck mentioned he had an idea for how we can stop the calls but still provide Rodney with the data he wants. I will meet you in your office at 0830 tomorrow, yes?”

“That would be great Dr. Z. See you tomorrow.”

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

Rodney feels like he’s drifting through a fog of molasses. He can hear Jennifer talking to him about getting into scrubs and under the scanner, but he really doesn’t recall if he did anything to help or just sort of laid there. It really doesn’t matter. He just can’t bring up enough energy to do anything more than lay on the bed and wait. He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for, but with the bite of the IV, he figures it’s only a matter of time before the warm flush of sedative hits his system. A few minutes later, he feels the medication, and just...let’s go.

John returns to the infirmary to see Rodney laying on the same bed in the far corner of the infirmary. He’s changed into scrubs and has an IV. Ronon continues to lean against a nearby wall, looking disinterested, but John knows he’s following every movement.

Finding Dr. Keller in her office, John asks “How’s McKay?”

“Oh, Colonel. I have finished running him under the scanner. He’s dehydrated and his blood sugar is a bit low so I’ve started the IV to help address that. I’m waiting for the blood test results to see if there’s anything else, but it does seem that he really is exhausted. I gave him a sedative a few minutes ago to help him rest as he was just sort of drifting. Not really responding, but not asleep. I’m hopeful between the IV fluids and some uninterrupted sleep he’ll feel better in the morning.”

“That’s great Doc. I’m glad it’s nothing more serious.”

“Don’t misunderstand, Colonel. This is serious. Exhaustion of this level can lead to a number of issues if left untreated and will take a while for Rodney to recover. I’m actually quite concerned if he’ll allow himself the time to actually recover and stay that way through.”

John slowly nodded. He’d seen guys throughout his own career that just burned out. In country this could be (and was) deadly.

“Zelenka is working on a solution for the calls, so that should help. What else do we need to do?”

“Ideally, I’d like to see him take a 2-week vacation from work, but I know that’s not going to happen. Even if I sent him back to Earth,” Dr. Keller held up her hand to John’s rapidly building protest, “I was going to say I don’t think that would help anyway. He’d see it as punishment and likely continue working and stressing about if he’d be allowed to return. That wouldn’t help him.”

“Okay. Vacations are a bit challenging, and sending him to Earth is definitely out.” John went to run his hand through his hair and caught a glimpse of his bright cast. “I think I have an idea. Let me talk to Zelenka tomorrow and I think I can find a way to get Rodney to take a break. He won’t love it, but I think I can get him to comply.”

“It would also be good to have him set up something resembling a routine, where he can eat and sleep as well as exercise with some amount of regularity. It would also help with this hypoglycemia too.”

“That may actually be harder than the 2-week vacation. Now I think I’ll go sit with him for a bit.” John started to move towards the bed, when Dr. Keller interjected.

“Colonel, you need your rest as much as Rodney does. I don’t want you both here and with that arm, you need some extra downtime too. Rodney is out for the night and into tomorrow morning. I promise to contact you if anything changes or he wakes, but you need to get some food and rest too. Okay?”

John could see the wisdom in that, but he didn’t like it. “Okay. I’ll go let Ronon know the plan and then I’ll be back by 0900 at the latest.”

~~--~~~~----~~~~--~~

The next morning John struggled through his shower and getting dressed one-handed without getting his cast wet. At least he could wear his button-down shirt and with the sleeves rolled down his pink cast was much less obvious. After grabbing a quick breakfast, he headed to his office to meet with Dr. Zelenka. 

Returning to the infirmary after meeting with Dr. Zelenka and Chuck, John has also spoken to Woolsey and Dr. Keller. He feels his plan is coming together as he walks into the infirmary to see Rodney still laying in the same position as last night. Ronon has been joined by Teyla and John gestures for them to follow John a bit further from Rodney so they can talk without disturbing the sleeping scientist.

“Morning guys. Thanks for ah..watching out for him last night.”  
“It was no problem, John. You needed rest as well. How is your arm this morning?” Teyla asked.

“Oh it’s fine. That’s not why I’m here. I need your help with a plan to help Rodney.” Seeing two nods, John continues, “Teyla, you mentioned the Athosians were setting up some new buildings in the next few weeks to help with the harsher winters on the new planet, right? Do you think we could be of help? Sort of a working vacation for the team? It would still give us all something to do but would be a break from Atlantis. Do you think the Athosians would be okay with this?”

“Of course John. They would be happy to have the extra help. Rodney also mentioned once that he could have done the wiring in the current buildings with much greater efficiency, so I could see him wanting to be involved with the new buildings to ensure they are...efficient.”

“Excellent! I think this plan is coming together. Now just have to get Rodney to agree. Why don’t you two go get some food and rest and start packing? We’ll plan to leave tomorrow morning?”

“Okay Sheppard. Good luck.” Ronon rumbled as he slapped John on the back - at least he picked his non-injured side.

“You are a good friend John. We will see you tomorrow.” Teyla closed with a short touch of her forehead to John’s.

With a plan in hand, John pulls up a chair and starts working through some changes to the duty roster as he waits for Rodney to wake up.

It doesn’t take long for Rodney to start to stir. At first, John thinks he’s just being slow to wake up, but the movements become more erratic and panicked. John stands and places a hand on Rodney’s shoulder to see if he can help him wake up. At the contact, Rodney nearly jumps right off the bed. 

“McKay, wake up.” John calls out trying to get Rodney to wake up from the apparent nightmare. 

After a few more moments of thrashing, Rodney stills and starts to blink his eyes open. “John?” he crocks out as John hands him some water from the nearby table. 

“Morning Rodney. How are you feeling today?” 

Rodney seems to take a minute to take stock as he sips the water, looking at the IV and scrubs. “Okay, I guess. What’s going on?” 

“You remember yesterday?” 

“Ah, ya...Did Jennifer find something? Am I going to die?”

Well at least Rodney’s panic was back at full strength “Whoa, whoa...just calm down. You’re fine, well not fine fine, but definitely not dying okay?”

“Okay. So what’s going on?”

“I’m sure Keller can explain it better, but you’re exhausted. And not just need one good night’s sleep exhausted, but more than that….” John was floundering and they both knew it.

“Oookkayy….so where’s Jennifer anyway?” Rodney asks looking around John.

“I wanted to talk to you alone first.”

“But you said I wasn’t dying.” The panic is back.

“I did and that’s true. But what we have to do you are not going to like.”

“I already don’t like this conversation. Just spill it, Sheppard.”

“Okay. We, as in Ronon, Teyla and us, are going to the Athosian settlement for 2 weeks to help the Athosians set up some new permanent buildings. We leave tomorrow.”

“And why are we going? That seems like something that could easily be done by others who have less important things to do here.”

“Well for one, we can’t go off-world until my cast is removed.” John meant it as a way to show this wasn’t all Rodney’s fault, but Rodney winced at the mention of the cast...this is not going well. Time to go for broke.

“Okay, Rodney. Here’s the thing. You need to take a break from work to recover from this. This was the best plan I could come up with that kept you in Pegasus and close enough to help if something big does happen. I’ve already talked to Zelenka and Woolsey. We’ll have twice daily check-ins and Atlantis can always contact us if something happens and we’re needed back quickly. But if all goes well, it will be like a 2-week vacation for the whole team. Oh, and also, when we get back we are implementing a rotational system so that all those late night calls don’t go directly to you. Why didn’t you say something about all that?”

This was a lot for Rodney to take in at once. He didn’t want to go but sensed John would not take no for answer. He was also a smart man and didn't miss the ‘keep you in Pegasus’ so clearly sending him back to Earth had come up at some point while he’d been out. A 2-week vacation with the Athosians was definitely better than being sent to Earth where they could conveniently forget to send him back. Besides, the Athosians make a great stew. Wait a sec - did John say something about a rotational system for his staff??

“What’s this about a rotational system for calls? How long have I been out that you’re messing with my department's personnel? I have things set up this way so they actually work and we don’t die from any number of horrible deaths. I also need to be able to see what’s going wrong to see the larger patterns to fix things before we end up with no drinking water or heat or something equally important.” So anger was back too. Great…..John thought as he tried to find a response that would not start yet another argument.

“Your team volunteered to help take those calls. They all want to help and Zelenka didn’t even tell them you spent the night here. Chuck also came up with a way that any repair calls will be automatically logged and added to a map to show where they are coming from. He also figured you’d like to have a daily, weekly and monthly summaries of the calls sent to your email for you to review so you can follow the patterns without actually having to take every call and he’s more than willing to do that. Rodney, you”

“I don’t care if they volunteered. In fact, I’m a bit suspicious of this sudden volunteer spirit. Honestly, who volunteers to take random calls? Wait...what? An automatic map of the calls? Why didn’t I think of that….I must really be off...” Rodney trailed off looking more despondent by the second.

Trying to salvage this conversation, John tried again, “As I was saying, Rodney, you being healthy has proven critical to our survival several times over. We..I..need you ready to handle the big stuff. To do that, you need to let the little stuff go to others. But more than that, I want you to be healthy to stick around so we can continue to explore Atlantis and the Pegasus with our team. If you don’t recover and make some changes, I may not be able to stop them from sending you back to Earth and I don’t want that any more than you do.” John finished quietly and looked away at the wall behind Rodney.

“Oh. I..ah...don’t want to...ah...leave..either….” Rodney awkwardly finished.

Thinking that was more than enough feelings for the both of them, John left it there and took Rodney’s lack of argument as acceptance.

“Great! We are meeting Ronon and Teyla in the jumper bay at 0930 tomorrow. For now, how about I go see if Dr. Keller will release you and we can go get lunch?”

“Ah..sure..thanks.”

Rodney watched as John walked across the infirmary, with his bright pink cast peeking out of his shirt sleeve as he went. Rodney continued to be amazed at how he could have possibly ended up with friends that actually cared about him as a person and actually want him, M. Rodney McKay, around and not just the guy that was going to solve the next problem. Maybe this trip to the Athosian settlement would actually be good for him...not that he’d admit that to anyone.

-End-


End file.
